Stepping into the next chapter with the new season and new month!

It is now the end of September, October rolling in will full force and willingness to bring the beautiful leaves with it. Perfect time to travel cross country. Seeing the scenery all the way across. I am the perfect state of mind to remove more of the clutter in my mind and let it fall away. I am in the mood to travel across country and to see the beauty out east a while. To see family and finally let them in completely. I am also ready to start my new projects while my travels are on hold for a while. There is plenty to keep me occupied a while. Which is perfection. I love it.

I have been putting thought in to the idea of stepping back into life the way in which I was living. But I do not seeing that being possible. Working the way I was, the way I was living. I cant even imagine it. Which is okay, it was not fitting of who I was and this is the season of release. So instead trying to imagine it I am going to release it with love of the knowledge that I know It served me perfectly for what i was supposed to to. I leave it with gratitude and appreciation.  I am stepping into a new chapter of my own life, a new experience. I am excited for it!!

Attached Cycles will be removed!

I've got some funny things today. Today I have had my mind wrapped around going back east for a while. Completely ignoring the attachment I had to getting there I have been saying for a long time now I am not attached to the outcome to everyone, and for a long time I have not been attached to the outcome of anything. So for me to realize my attachment to this was completely amusing to me. I revealed in this, laugh at this, and could not help but grin from ridiculous amounts of time about this. I had to tell everyone around me. Which got me some funny looks, but that is okay. This moment was amazing to have, I love it. I love the fact that I got to experience it and realize I have been. The feeling is slight annoyance, but a lot of confused thoughts. ( That is because I have a lot on my mind I still need to sort through).So put the two together and you have the average mind. At least what I remember when I used to be like that years ago. Has been ridiculous and awesomeness. Man I love when I get to experience those things.

When one gets to experience moments they don't enjoy so much, it makes the great ones that much more appreciated and memorable. Though I have not removed the attachment, I am learning from it. I know , I know what makes sense is to remove that and move on. However, this way I can learn the ins and outs of it. Learn how I allow the pattern to overcome me and my symptoms of it. Basically through this I can learn to cure this. That way later down the road I wont have it happen, at least sneak up on me haha!

There it is, I have my moments. Though I have learned how to enjoy them rather than be upset with them. I <3 me.

A cluttered Mind is a sign of Satan!

My mind is full, Overly full tonight. There are so many thoughts floating around and much more to sort through.  I feel lost in all of it right now. It feels like I am in an unfamiliar jungle of my own mind. A place I have sorted through and sorted through and put into files and cabinets. Labeled perfectly so I could find what I was looking for. This is another layer of my own mind I have picked through and looked at, played with and was amused by. But now I have plunged head first into the muck. Not sure which way to start going, which direction to submerge  myself to begin ordering. See what i have thrown into this room and left undiscovered for this long.

I am at this moment in a mess in my mind and not very sure what to look for or where to look. I could start tossing things. However, I know in this process if you just toss with out looking you can easily invite it back in without knowing you are. So I must carefully and patiently look through all the leaves and paper with scribbles read whats on the trunks of the jungle trees and see what I have tacked to the sky. I must look at it all and know weather I need it or not. If I plan to hold on to it, how does it fit? Where must this go? What tree did this leaf of scribbles come off of?

Yes, you're reading this all confused and perfectly right if this is the case. For you're imagining a room that is a jungle with a  sky filing cabinets standing open leaves and papers every where, including tacked to the sky. Now add a few more layers of papers and leaves, at least to your neck. Throw in a few animals looking at you neck deep in this mess with a look that says, "Dude, this is a mess... You gonna get to cleaning or are you gonna hang out neck deep in shit?" Haha. This is not a bad place. Actually quite the opposite, this is an amazing place. Overwhelming a bit, but amazing. This means I am another level deeper into myself. Once I am not overwhelmed I will be able to knock through this quickly. I am excited to be here, I am sure I will learn way cool things about me I long since buried down here. A tactic to convince myself it is to difficult to know me. But It wont win! I will get through this :-)

Release of fall!

This is my favorite season! It is so beautiful, the colors and the the brisk autumn air. The Peace that comes with it. The apples and cider, pumpkin pie and the harvesting. the smell It creates is something amazing to me. It makes me feel brand new every time it comes around. I love riding up into the mountains and looking off into the leaves and knowing no matter where I am, I am home in that beauty. It makes me so happy. I love being able to pull out my scarf and coat. Opening the windows and airing every thing out. Halloween! The idea of the worlds ports being open to one another clearly for travel between. And naturally the tons of candy lol.

What I love most of all is fall is for letting go of the old ways that no longer fit who you are. Allowing the release of the old thoughts that pull us backwards. I love to release old habits that do not fit me. This is why ( in my belief) fall most of us had sinus drainage. Stuffy noses and lots of "lung Butter" from our head releasing all these things we have been holding on to in a physical way. I love being able to blow my nose. Each time I know I am getting rid of something I was holding onto inside of me that had the potential to make me more sick if i had held onto it.

So don't be upset when your sinus's are dumping all it's contents, it is all part of the natural release of fall to let go of the old. So that the new and better for you can come in in the spring. 

They Great Bee Proverbs By The Wonderer

          Cooking With Honey

Recently I found myself in the kitchen cooking, The windows were open because the weather is beyond amazing here right now. Whatever it was I was cook apparently attracted a few bees into the windows. I hadn't noticed them at first because they hung out at the windows in a panic to get out. It wasn't until I began clean up very shortly after that I noticed them. Flying into the window and not realizing they had to back up and fly downwards to get out. I will be honest, for a few minutes I watched them, amused by the struggle. Not because I wanted to see their demise, but because the symbolism in the situation was greatly true and fitting to the way things are working out.

 The symbologism I speak of the this, there were three bee's fly in the window in hopes of getting something that smelled sweet and delicious to them. Quickly realizing the situation was not what they had wanted and wanting out as fast at their little wings could fly them in.  Instead of any of them taking the time to realize they had to backtrack to get out, they all began to fly into the window beating their tiny heads against it in a panic for survival. They all three continued to cause the same pattern for quite a while. Finally one of them stopped and realized that to go just a little backwards they could  come past the window frame and fly out. This they did and was free from death. One down two to go!

Bee two needed a little help to see this. I reached up and rolled the window out a bit more thinking they would both figure it out. This time bee two figured out that you need to go backwards to go forwards and was saved from what I am sure it thought was to be a sure death! Bee three, left alone, not able to figure out the secret. 

This one just was not getting the action he needed to take at all. I had to really step in for this one and actually push him out of the window to save his life. 

Here is the great analogy from this 2 of three people Will figure out the secret to truly moving forward mentally, spiritually, and in life is to step backwards and release your past to see the road to the future. The Third, if survives will need more than a small push.

Playing House

This blogg is a realization on my part, putting things together I have known and believe. These beliefs may not be your own. Take this as a Philosophy from someone whom you’ve either known or you still don’t know. I call it playing house. I was listening to a song my Jack Johnson, the name escapes me, and this just infiltrated my mind swiftly and with force. This is things I have known and followed, but until this moment I didn’t put them fully together and have a revelation to bring tears to my eyes.

Playing house

  If this reality isn’t real like we’ve been taught to believe, only an illusion we continue to hold ourselves, the we are simply playing house. Like children with their Barbie’s and G.I. Joe’s.  We are going to jobs that we have convinced ourselves that are completely important and do things we do not desire in life, in the playhouse. We have over complicated the simplicity that we truly have here. We have turned it into huge circles of fictional tv dramas and ridiculous romance novels. When children are playing house, they don’t work for what they are wanting. The Drama is removed, the jobs are gone. If they want the house they simply have it. They Dream the perfection of it and they manifest it. To people, humans, it may look like a shoe box. But to the children they see a majestic castle with everything they desire in it.  So instead of adding the extra in there for the perfection, like many have taught, If you imagine your true desires, you see their perfection, it shall manifest for you. Just how you see it. Because we step into it with the awareness we are simply playing house.

Then it makes me ask questions like, do we really need to work towards enlightenment or is it already there once we imagine it being.  Once we choose to accept it is there.  Then house, like enlightenment, once we are aware we are simply playing house, we realize the things we desire are already awaiting for OUR arrival. Once we choose to accept it.


Imagine it , Feel it , accept it, love it and that’s manifesting.

I approve of not needing approval Part two

So on that note, I have felt like I was a disappointment my entire life to everyone. In reality this idea that I am and will always be unless I follow these standards that have been set in front of me was built in a long time ago, and allowed myself to believe them this whole time. So I have been disappointing myself based off of other expectations of me. Then the people who are disappointed by “me” are really disappointed in their on abilities to not meet their own standards of life. This is amazing. I am in Awe.

These standards that were laid out in front of me to fail over are as such:
Be a doctor, make a lot of money (because only the rich are happy)
, help others (LMAO go back to the beginning of needing to help others to help myself), Have been married with children by now
, be straight, and do all of this in a town that is dieing and doesn’t even have a decent job to sustain this lifestyle I am supposed to have to be happy. Another words I was set up to fail there. So then I have been search of approval since. My spirituality is mine and I hold firm to my own convictions there. My travels are mine and I hold firm to my convictions there as well. But I do not need approval from people for them. I do not need to help others to help myself. Through Helping myself I help others. I do not need to be a fucking doctor to heal people (in fact most doctors only treat symptoms), I can heal people without chemicals and surgeries. I do not need a proof of purchase stamp of approval from anyone but me.

What is funny is all the issues I have been chewing through in my mind have been centered around the insecurity of not being good enough. This Has branched out for more than 23 years now.  Though I accepted a long time ago that I could never get approval from certain members of my family for my life. I have treated the cause and not removed the symptoms that had began to branch out in many ways. I now accept my own life, and my abilities. I accept that I don’t need to be a doctor or go through college for years upon years to make money or be happy. I accept that I do not need to help others to help myself. My lessons do not have to be others lessons.


This insecurity truly effects every aspect of my life. Including this blogg, I have been feeling that because followers haven’t been going  up, even though views and traffic is through the roof compared to past months that I was not getting approval and wasn’t good enough. In reality because I was not accepting myself for not being enough that I have been keeping myself from the potential that I have in this blog. Also in all the other fields that I endevour into. I have been to busy trying to prove I am not attached to realize that I truly am not. HAHAHAHA, I have been to busy trying to prove that these things don’t bother me to realize they really don’t bother me. I wasn’t accepting that I wasn’t attached to these things because they didn’t have the stamp of approval. When in reality I wasn’t realizing that The approval I am searching for I wasn’t attached to even finding, because I had already approved of it myself and wasn’t accepting that I had learned these lessons. Because in my twisted mind I was looking for approval to not be attached to not needing approval. Which make me see that every time I got this approval I wasn’t grateful for it, because I had surpassed this place and hadn’t accepted myself for have surpassed it. Another words this whole time I have been living in the circle of thinking I wanted something I wasn’t attached to. Because the idea that I need it was still in my mind.

Hey guess what??!?!? I approve of not needing approval LOL. For I am not attached to the approval, which I was (even just a moment ago it would read to you guys, but I actually stopped typing and came back to this) taking in my own mind as me being ungrateful for what my ego was in search of. In reality I am grateful for everyone who is in approval, but I am not attached to it. I owe a lot of people an apology, Co-dependently  I have been searching for approval in you instead realizing the only approval I was wanting was the approval from myself to not need approval from others. I love you all….


The Wonderer.

I approve of not needing approval

Hey everyone, How are you? Today I am feeling amazing. Yesterday and the day before didn’t feel so amazing.  Though needed.  As you’ve read typically my days are filled with crazy happenings, a lot of laughing and just all around a good time.  Mostly because I still allow things to me new and exciting in my life. But for the past couple of days, even though not bad, weren’t the most amazing of all my days. We had decided to pack up camp and come back into town a while. The weather was turning cold and we were both beginning to feel disconnected from the world. We came back into Idaho falls from Kelly Canyon. Beautiful camping there and amazing hikes. The sky at night was breath taking and peace a solitude was refreshing.

Though camp was more than one could ask for in camping, after a while you feel like you need to be reacquainted with people.  My ego for a few days had been in complete swing. I had allowed myself unbalance and for my ego to take over my thought process. All of these things consumed my mind. Like, but not limited to: “What the hell am I doing? I have made myself on the verge of homeless and now someone has joined my escapades.”, “ I am wasting my life”, “You moron, you have things going so well, and every time you give them up to have new experience.”….Honestly the list of things keeps going,. I end starting to blame myself for a bunch of things going on, I beat myself up over screwing my life up and begin blaming myself for screwing other peoples lives up. Which all of these things I see as not true.  I am not responsible for others lives, and my life I have actually set so I can do this and have experiences that I’ve only, until now, dreamed of.  I know these things, but my ego had the best of me and to be honest as I am typing this out, still has a bit of a hold.

The past few weeks I have had a lot of things happen to me, as you can read. Mentally there has been a bunch going on, that I am as well trying to sort through and process. However, I have not been processing as well as I should. I realize this, for my head feels full! It like pressure right before you get a headache, but it’s different enough that I can tell the difference between the two pressures. So now, I am working on processing all the events physical and mental ones. Though I have had some awesome things happen to me in the physical world, admittedly, I have had a bit of turmoil in my mind recently.

Fuck off, its Houseless! LOL

So this has came up A LOT along my journey and I wasn’t sure how I felt about this idea, or being called such. I have now decided I am quite alright with it and I can still have a smile on my face and be as happy as I ever was. This idea of Homeless… it’s a name with a bad vibe to it for most people, it’s a terrible thing and to end up that way you MUST abuse substances. Well granted there are people out there who have ended up on the streets for this and people who have ended up on the streets for other reasons (economy just might be shit, Just say’n) and there are the ones who have ended up as such, well, by choice. I know for people the idea of CHOOSING to be this so called “homeless” is crazy, over the top, this person MUST be committed for their own good. Someone who would choose to live in tune with nature and out of the rat race of, to be honest is stupid and pointless in my view, why is this so bad?

Getting back to the Basics! Janet Louise is NOW living her true American dream!

So here is a follow up. My good friend Janet has joined me adventuring a while. She has been in need of good adventure, and in need of getting back to her own basics.


I don't know about you, but when I first heard about Zachy's adventure, I felt a pang of envy course through me. I've often secretly fantasized about leaving behind all of the expectations of the world, longing to float through the ebb and flow of life, guided by my intuition and desires.

Fast forward a couple of months, and here I am, joining up with The Wonderer on our own series of adventures. I am very well aware that mainstream culture perceives these choices as eccentric and bizarre, however, I obviously don't care much how others judge or criticize me. I lived my life attempting to please others for far too many years to ever step back into that nightmare, (though my fear of judgment still rears its ugly head sometimes).

When I let go of the traditional role I am expected to fill as a woman, a mother, an American, and a human being, I embrace that new found opportunity to define my own role. In my new version, it is very easy to walk away from the rat race - from the obligation to buy into the chaos that has become so common in every day life. I've spent years longing for simplicity, without ever having the courage to take purposeful steps towards that end.

And now, as I've packed up 99% of all of my belongings and put them in storage, I put myself in a situation where I had to choose what my most prized possessions are - what is essential for living and survival. I've got the opportunity in my hands right now to re-evaluate my lifestyle, from top to bottom, scale back to the absolute bare minimum, and then move forward with my new convictions.

What a fantastic opportunity! It is so freeing to let go of my attachment to THINGS, to escape from the labels and identifications that come from material possessions.

As a mother, I've been looking at what it is that I ought to be providing for my little family. Traditional paradigms suggest that I need to provide a 3-4 bedroom home for them, with lots of storage space for toys, electronics, clothes, and all manner of material possessions. Because I'm divorced, their lifestyle should be duplicated at both households, and they should never want for anything.....

I've had to dig deep lately to reveal to myself how I really feel about what a mother should provide for her family. And I disagree with the modern, traditional paradigm. I want to provide my children with the example of a mother who chooses to live her authentic life rather than playing the people's game. I want to provide them with an environment of unconditional love and acceptance - the feeling that they belong, that they are 'home'. And I wholeheartedly believe I can provide this for them, without buying into a 3 level townhouse that comes with 2 1/2 bathrooms.

My goal is to simplify and become a practicing minimalist. Fortunately, my children will have the chance to grow up seeing what life looks like on both sides of the coin - from a household where all the typical Americanized amenities are available, and a household where love, simplicity, and presence are the highest of priorities.

Getting back to the basics brings my heart such joy, it's ridiculous! I long for simple days where twilight signals bedtime, and we rise with the sun every morning - where we re-align ourselves with the rhythm of Mother Nature. I yearn to eat what nourishes the body, not what can be re-heated in a microwave. I seek to withdraw from the media, from that influence, and settle into a cycle of harmony with myself and my surroundings.

Stepping away from life-as-we-know-it may be the single most important step I've taken in the past few years. My time spent 'wondering' with Zachy is helping me dig deep to my core beliefs and bring them into manifestation. Simplicity. Alignment. Natural. Authentic. These are the words I choose to define my role, my life.

Janet Louise

Hey Moron It's and Oxymoron! Hey moron it's a Road!

I would like to update my peeps. So as you know I was in Salt lake Vagina. Which well I am not a huge fan of, period. Don’t listen to me and say of well fuck that, I’m not going to mormon land! You may like it. Or you could think like me and think it is nothing more than a ridiculous amount of douche canoeing. But that’s my feelings on it. So, I left SLC or SLV as I lovingly call it! I made it back to Idaho Falls, via a ride who apparently only like their own voice.  I mean to the point in a 3 hour drive I was asked one question and within 30 seconds I was cut off so they could continue hearing their own voice babble things that made no sense to me, especially since what this individual kept talking about was the same things over and over and when I actually tried engaging in the conversation I had explained why the roads were the way they were through the knowledge I had gained. Granted I may not have it completely right. However their theory on why the road had notches cut into it was to help with water flow away from the grass. V\I mean when they are paving the road it would not make sense, my idea I mean the grooves would not be cut simply to help bind the old road to the new one they are paving on top of it. The water flow away from the grass is the perfect idea. But you know what, this is to damn funny. I am listening to this conversation I am not part of and just thinking, I don’t give a fuck about the road. Nor did I give a damn why he thought energy healing wouldn’t work for him ( mainly because I have no idea anything about that, BWAHAHAHAHA). Basically, I could have been annoyed this whole ride, but I just didn’t give a shit.

The New about me! The Second Coming Of the Savior

So everyone! This is How it goes. I am a crazy guy who loves to travel a lot. Obviously, since I have been backpacking the United states a while now.

I am a spiritual being, having a human experience. I make a lot jokes, offensive, tasteless, funny. I love my life and I have a good fucking time no matter what I am doing.

This Blog follows my randomosity and adventures as they come my way. Spiritual, or just random funny shit i find along the way. Hit the follow button above and have a good fucking time like I do

This was drawn for me By my friend's daughters for me coming back to see the recently

I want to Marry Betty Bowers, Americas best Christian.. And the Harem and virgins, and rapees, and some other chicks, and NOT steve because thats wrong :-)

THE GREAT SALT VAGINA

So In the midst of my fun in Idaho falls I did make it the 200 some odd miles back down to Salt Lake Vagina! This place I am fully convinced Is mother earths vagina! Have you ever actually been to the Great Salt lake? Oh, you have not... Yeah, don't feel bad for passing it up. The City it's self I am sure has some cool stuff, but for an outsider, that's what I was an outsider. People don't take to kindly to strangers in their neck of the vagina! That's all I have to say about Salt Lake City.

Dumbass in the Lions Den

So with in the past few months there has been a story that was on the news in the Utah area about a group of mormon missionaries who took their mission trip to some where in South America. In this News report there was (obviously, being the news and all) a slight problem. The group had taken a lively after noon to go to the Zoo. In this Zoo there were lions. But to get a good picture, as any dumbass would tell you, you have to climb up on the cement walk of the den to get a promising photo. Only this time ( like anytime a fuck tard climbs with in feet of hungry lions) the lions attacked, Pulling the young hero into the den as a snack for all the little lion friends. OOOHHH NOOOO! Luckily for our young idiot, he knew how to punch. He began heroically fighting the Lions off! Which his trusty side kick ( and possibly lover) grabbed a pole near by and started fighting them off from the wall…Any body else see the humor in this… the wall the first guy is pulled in off of the other one stands on.. If not you’re dumb too, and keep reading. You may find another funny part. The lady missionaries who were on this trip became distraught and to help to dangerous cause of their fellow brothers in need of help ( mentally and physically), began to pray to help out…Jesus, what do they say if he dies? It was Gods will? And if he live, God must have been the hero here, and not the villain like if he dies. Anyways, I am pretty sure they lived. So. GO GOD, You rock My Socks off! If not, Well God had a better use for him. Either way this story will go into the book of moron, I I mean Mormon! Heroic guy, In a lions Den…. Damn that sounds like Daniel in the Lions den!… More like dumbass in the lions den!

Attached is the actual article:
Utah Mormon missionary attacked by lions in Guatemala





http://www.abc4.com/content/news/top_stories/story/Utah-Mormon-missionary-attacked-by-lions-in/v1Ej6NeJxk-S0O8M1SlXxg.cspx


There’s a Video Too!

Yellow Stone National Forest

 Isn’t amazing how things go?  So I get to Idaho falls and I get to experience things I had wanted to experience on this trip. Like I got to go to Yellow Stone, which I will admit I was disappointed when I reworked me trip to basically miss it, because the track I was taking made more sense… herm. Anyways, point being I know this pretty kick ass guy who wanted to go and got to! That would be Me. Your amazingness you can call me J… I was so excited and I am pretty sure I showed it, basically like a little kid, haha. But you know what, I am okay with that. Just because I am.

So we get here to this little town called west yellow stone, and I wandering around, all excited and at this point trying to hide it. I knew when we get here there were things I wanted to see. Old faithful was NOT one of them. Sorry Old faithful. There are other gysers who go off more often and to be quite honest as far as I am concerned are better, well to be honest with you Faithy, they don’t have as many people surrounding them waiting for you non faithful behavior to spew all over. I like anticipation building,  but with all the people its like a creepy orgy. Not a big enough climax to please me either. I am sure you please many people you dirty whore, just not me.

Yes we skipped over her ( the over viewed hooker) and saw the good stuff. Many bubbly mud pots, and spewers, really hot water and places where I am not dumb enough. Like the picture with the boy scout burning to death it shows and his I am assuming his sister staring in astonishment, She much have been praying for his survival. I got to see a lot of Bison and I think an elk or just an over sized deer. The falls and many other things. The falls were beautiful. These huge Water falls surrounded my yellow rock cliffs, We went on all sides of those… There was an interesting thing going on at yellow stone though. They claim there was a bear attack in the area and had all these areas closed off all around the falls. It felt off to me, Like that wasn’t the case. It didn’t help that it wasn’t even in the area of the bear attack or where they had spotted the bear that was closed. Something felt off to me about it, I cannot describe it but it felt staged to me.


We went to the Lake in the park and was there for a long time. There is a land bridge that reach’s out into the lake. We walked down this where the sand was of obsideon and quartz. I may or may not have collected some of this sand.   The energy was cool at this lake though, It had the feeling of being a very old lake. Like there were things in there that no body knows exist yet. The cliff was crumbling on the side we parked. Guess what  I had the most fun exploring. This lake all I can say is it was peaceful, it felt old, and it had secrets it did not want to share. Many of them.

There are more things to share about this trip to Yellow Stone, However this is long enough….So ….To be continued.

The Wonderer's Life Paradox question

<a href="http://s1199.photobucket.com/albums/aa479/TheWonderer1988/?action=view&amp;current=lifesparadox.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i1199.photobucket.com/albums/aa479/TheWonderer1988/lifesparadox.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>

Things are interesting you know? Life is a paradox, and the humor behind such is something of the gods. When you feel like things are perfect, we change them to something not so perfect. When we are happy, we find away to destroy it for ourselves. These my dear friends are obvious statements of truth and firmly amusing. The thing I ask why of is why the hell do we want this misery? Not even so much misery as simply an experience we have been taught that they are such? Maybe We have been taught to do things this way...You have to suffer to enjoy... Why?

Sweet potatoes out of the shoe box!

Religion, Idaho Falls

In Idaho falls, Idaho there are certain things you find. First thing, a man made water fall. Beautiful water fall it is.  The next thing you will find In the small potato town is not potatoes! But you will find Plenty of Mormons. This here is where I learned about Joseph Smith, A second time. Funny enough it was a different story. One that made more sense to me, and didn’t feel like details were missing. Mr. Joseph Smith’s ,the founder of this Fine religion ( that reminds me a lot of southern Baptist), story goes like this.. In my words. Hi I am Joe, I live in New York. I am a free mason. They don’t like us. I decide to make my own religion. I call Moromism. We have many wives (because I am Horny), women or worthless and cent get to the other stages of heaven. I am horny. The end.