Consciousness

"To be conscious of ones self is to be conscious of everything in the universe"-Zachy Adams, aka The Wonderer

Opening up!

Hi all!

Last I checked in with all of you I was feeling really alone. When I realized that not all people in my life had left, I had forgotten to open up to them.. Which means my Blood family, I had forgotten to really let them in, in a long time. From my own fears I recognized quickly. I was terrified of them not accepting me or getting it. I was afraid of many things in there. So all this time instead of letting them in to allow them the opportunity to decide for themselves how they felt about me, I was choosing for them. This wasn't a fear I was still holding on to, this was something long ago I had released, just forgot to take the steps to move forward with it. Like bringing it to their attention I had been afraid, but wasn't. That I had forgotten to tell them my thoughts and such. It's like I finally stopped judging myself long ago and forgot I was mirroring that off of them. So when I was setting here wondering why they weren't getting me and I was feeling like they had left me I had a glorious revelation that I had forgot to bring them along on the journey of my crazy life.
So being who I am, ya know amazing with words and all (

They Great Bee Proverbs By The Wonderer

          Cooking With Honey

Recently I found myself in the kitchen cooking, The windows were open because the weather is beyond amazing here right now. Whatever it was I was cook apparently attracted a few bees into the windows. I hadn't noticed them at first because they hung out at the windows in a panic to get out. It wasn't until I began clean up very shortly after that I noticed them. Flying into the window and not realizing they had to back up and fly downwards to get out. I will be honest, for a few minutes I watched them, amused by the struggle. Not because I wanted to see their demise, but because the symbolism in the situation was greatly true and fitting to the way things are working out.

 The symbologism I speak of the this, there were three bee's fly in the window in hopes of getting something that smelled sweet and delicious to them. Quickly realizing the situation was not what they had wanted and wanting out as fast at their little wings could fly them in.  Instead of any of them taking the time to realize they had to backtrack to get out, they all began to fly into the window beating their tiny heads against it in a panic for survival. They all three continued to cause the same pattern for quite a while. Finally one of them stopped and realized that to go just a little backwards they could  come past the window frame and fly out. This they did and was free from death. One down two to go!

Bee two needed a little help to see this. I reached up and rolled the window out a bit more thinking they would both figure it out. This time bee two figured out that you need to go backwards to go forwards and was saved from what I am sure it thought was to be a sure death! Bee three, left alone, not able to figure out the secret. 

This one just was not getting the action he needed to take at all. I had to really step in for this one and actually push him out of the window to save his life. 

Here is the great analogy from this 2 of three people Will figure out the secret to truly moving forward mentally, spiritually, and in life is to step backwards and release your past to see the road to the future. The Third, if survives will need more than a small push.

Playing House

This blogg is a realization on my part, putting things together I have known and believe. These beliefs may not be your own. Take this as a Philosophy from someone whom you’ve either known or you still don’t know. I call it playing house. I was listening to a song my Jack Johnson, the name escapes me, and this just infiltrated my mind swiftly and with force. This is things I have known and followed, but until this moment I didn’t put them fully together and have a revelation to bring tears to my eyes.

Playing house

  If this reality isn’t real like we’ve been taught to believe, only an illusion we continue to hold ourselves, the we are simply playing house. Like children with their Barbie’s and G.I. Joe’s.  We are going to jobs that we have convinced ourselves that are completely important and do things we do not desire in life, in the playhouse. We have over complicated the simplicity that we truly have here. We have turned it into huge circles of fictional tv dramas and ridiculous romance novels. When children are playing house, they don’t work for what they are wanting. The Drama is removed, the jobs are gone. If they want the house they simply have it. They Dream the perfection of it and they manifest it. To people, humans, it may look like a shoe box. But to the children they see a majestic castle with everything they desire in it.  So instead of adding the extra in there for the perfection, like many have taught, If you imagine your true desires, you see their perfection, it shall manifest for you. Just how you see it. Because we step into it with the awareness we are simply playing house.

Then it makes me ask questions like, do we really need to work towards enlightenment or is it already there once we imagine it being.  Once we choose to accept it is there.  Then house, like enlightenment, once we are aware we are simply playing house, we realize the things we desire are already awaiting for OUR arrival. Once we choose to accept it.


Imagine it , Feel it , accept it, love it and that’s manifesting.

I approve of not needing approval Part two

So on that note, I have felt like I was a disappointment my entire life to everyone. In reality this idea that I am and will always be unless I follow these standards that have been set in front of me was built in a long time ago, and allowed myself to believe them this whole time. So I have been disappointing myself based off of other expectations of me. Then the people who are disappointed by “me” are really disappointed in their on abilities to not meet their own standards of life. This is amazing. I am in Awe.

These standards that were laid out in front of me to fail over are as such:
Be a doctor, make a lot of money (because only the rich are happy)
, help others (LMAO go back to the beginning of needing to help others to help myself), Have been married with children by now
, be straight, and do all of this in a town that is dieing and doesn’t even have a decent job to sustain this lifestyle I am supposed to have to be happy. Another words I was set up to fail there. So then I have been search of approval since. My spirituality is mine and I hold firm to my own convictions there. My travels are mine and I hold firm to my convictions there as well. But I do not need approval from people for them. I do not need to help others to help myself. Through Helping myself I help others. I do not need to be a fucking doctor to heal people (in fact most doctors only treat symptoms), I can heal people without chemicals and surgeries. I do not need a proof of purchase stamp of approval from anyone but me.

What is funny is all the issues I have been chewing through in my mind have been centered around the insecurity of not being good enough. This Has branched out for more than 23 years now.  Though I accepted a long time ago that I could never get approval from certain members of my family for my life. I have treated the cause and not removed the symptoms that had began to branch out in many ways. I now accept my own life, and my abilities. I accept that I don’t need to be a doctor or go through college for years upon years to make money or be happy. I accept that I do not need to help others to help myself. My lessons do not have to be others lessons.


This insecurity truly effects every aspect of my life. Including this blogg, I have been feeling that because followers haven’t been going  up, even though views and traffic is through the roof compared to past months that I was not getting approval and wasn’t good enough. In reality because I was not accepting myself for not being enough that I have been keeping myself from the potential that I have in this blog. Also in all the other fields that I endevour into. I have been to busy trying to prove I am not attached to realize that I truly am not. HAHAHAHA, I have been to busy trying to prove that these things don’t bother me to realize they really don’t bother me. I wasn’t accepting that I wasn’t attached to these things because they didn’t have the stamp of approval. When in reality I wasn’t realizing that The approval I am searching for I wasn’t attached to even finding, because I had already approved of it myself and wasn’t accepting that I had learned these lessons. Because in my twisted mind I was looking for approval to not be attached to not needing approval. Which make me see that every time I got this approval I wasn’t grateful for it, because I had surpassed this place and hadn’t accepted myself for have surpassed it. Another words this whole time I have been living in the circle of thinking I wanted something I wasn’t attached to. Because the idea that I need it was still in my mind.

Hey guess what??!?!? I approve of not needing approval LOL. For I am not attached to the approval, which I was (even just a moment ago it would read to you guys, but I actually stopped typing and came back to this) taking in my own mind as me being ungrateful for what my ego was in search of. In reality I am grateful for everyone who is in approval, but I am not attached to it. I owe a lot of people an apology, Co-dependently  I have been searching for approval in you instead realizing the only approval I was wanting was the approval from myself to not need approval from others. I love you all….


The Wonderer.