I approve of not needing approval

Hey everyone, How are you? Today I am feeling amazing. Yesterday and the day before didn’t feel so amazing.  Though needed.  As you’ve read typically my days are filled with crazy happenings, a lot of laughing and just all around a good time.  Mostly because I still allow things to me new and exciting in my life. But for the past couple of days, even though not bad, weren’t the most amazing of all my days. We had decided to pack up camp and come back into town a while. The weather was turning cold and we were both beginning to feel disconnected from the world. We came back into Idaho falls from Kelly Canyon. Beautiful camping there and amazing hikes. The sky at night was breath taking and peace a solitude was refreshing.

Though camp was more than one could ask for in camping, after a while you feel like you need to be reacquainted with people.  My ego for a few days had been in complete swing. I had allowed myself unbalance and for my ego to take over my thought process. All of these things consumed my mind. Like, but not limited to: “What the hell am I doing? I have made myself on the verge of homeless and now someone has joined my escapades.”, “ I am wasting my life”, “You moron, you have things going so well, and every time you give them up to have new experience.”….Honestly the list of things keeps going,. I end starting to blame myself for a bunch of things going on, I beat myself up over screwing my life up and begin blaming myself for screwing other peoples lives up. Which all of these things I see as not true.  I am not responsible for others lives, and my life I have actually set so I can do this and have experiences that I’ve only, until now, dreamed of.  I know these things, but my ego had the best of me and to be honest as I am typing this out, still has a bit of a hold.

The past few weeks I have had a lot of things happen to me, as you can read. Mentally there has been a bunch going on, that I am as well trying to sort through and process. However, I have not been processing as well as I should. I realize this, for my head feels full! It like pressure right before you get a headache, but it’s different enough that I can tell the difference between the two pressures. So now, I am working on processing all the events physical and mental ones. Though I have had some awesome things happen to me in the physical world, admittedly, I have had a bit of turmoil in my mind recently.

Fuck off, its Houseless! LOL

So this has came up A LOT along my journey and I wasn’t sure how I felt about this idea, or being called such. I have now decided I am quite alright with it and I can still have a smile on my face and be as happy as I ever was. This idea of Homeless… it’s a name with a bad vibe to it for most people, it’s a terrible thing and to end up that way you MUST abuse substances. Well granted there are people out there who have ended up on the streets for this and people who have ended up on the streets for other reasons (economy just might be shit, Just say’n) and there are the ones who have ended up as such, well, by choice. I know for people the idea of CHOOSING to be this so called “homeless” is crazy, over the top, this person MUST be committed for their own good. Someone who would choose to live in tune with nature and out of the rat race of, to be honest is stupid and pointless in my view, why is this so bad?

THE GREAT SALT VAGINA

So In the midst of my fun in Idaho falls I did make it the 200 some odd miles back down to Salt Lake Vagina! This place I am fully convinced Is mother earths vagina! Have you ever actually been to the Great Salt lake? Oh, you have not... Yeah, don't feel bad for passing it up. The City it's self I am sure has some cool stuff, but for an outsider, that's what I was an outsider. People don't take to kindly to strangers in their neck of the vagina! That's all I have to say about Salt Lake City.

Dumbass in the Lions Den

So with in the past few months there has been a story that was on the news in the Utah area about a group of mormon missionaries who took their mission trip to some where in South America. In this News report there was (obviously, being the news and all) a slight problem. The group had taken a lively after noon to go to the Zoo. In this Zoo there were lions. But to get a good picture, as any dumbass would tell you, you have to climb up on the cement walk of the den to get a promising photo. Only this time ( like anytime a fuck tard climbs with in feet of hungry lions) the lions attacked, Pulling the young hero into the den as a snack for all the little lion friends. OOOHHH NOOOO! Luckily for our young idiot, he knew how to punch. He began heroically fighting the Lions off! Which his trusty side kick ( and possibly lover) grabbed a pole near by and started fighting them off from the wall…Any body else see the humor in this… the wall the first guy is pulled in off of the other one stands on.. If not you’re dumb too, and keep reading. You may find another funny part. The lady missionaries who were on this trip became distraught and to help to dangerous cause of their fellow brothers in need of help ( mentally and physically), began to pray to help out…Jesus, what do they say if he dies? It was Gods will? And if he live, God must have been the hero here, and not the villain like if he dies. Anyways, I am pretty sure they lived. So. GO GOD, You rock My Socks off! If not, Well God had a better use for him. Either way this story will go into the book of moron, I I mean Mormon! Heroic guy, In a lions Den…. Damn that sounds like Daniel in the Lions den!… More like dumbass in the lions den!

Attached is the actual article:
Utah Mormon missionary attacked by lions in Guatemala





http://www.abc4.com/content/news/top_stories/story/Utah-Mormon-missionary-attacked-by-lions-in/v1Ej6NeJxk-S0O8M1SlXxg.cspx


There’s a Video Too!

Yellow Stone National Forest

 Isn’t amazing how things go?  So I get to Idaho falls and I get to experience things I had wanted to experience on this trip. Like I got to go to Yellow Stone, which I will admit I was disappointed when I reworked me trip to basically miss it, because the track I was taking made more sense… herm. Anyways, point being I know this pretty kick ass guy who wanted to go and got to! That would be Me. Your amazingness you can call me J… I was so excited and I am pretty sure I showed it, basically like a little kid, haha. But you know what, I am okay with that. Just because I am.

So we get here to this little town called west yellow stone, and I wandering around, all excited and at this point trying to hide it. I knew when we get here there were things I wanted to see. Old faithful was NOT one of them. Sorry Old faithful. There are other gysers who go off more often and to be quite honest as far as I am concerned are better, well to be honest with you Faithy, they don’t have as many people surrounding them waiting for you non faithful behavior to spew all over. I like anticipation building,  but with all the people its like a creepy orgy. Not a big enough climax to please me either. I am sure you please many people you dirty whore, just not me.

Yes we skipped over her ( the over viewed hooker) and saw the good stuff. Many bubbly mud pots, and spewers, really hot water and places where I am not dumb enough. Like the picture with the boy scout burning to death it shows and his I am assuming his sister staring in astonishment, She much have been praying for his survival. I got to see a lot of Bison and I think an elk or just an over sized deer. The falls and many other things. The falls were beautiful. These huge Water falls surrounded my yellow rock cliffs, We went on all sides of those… There was an interesting thing going on at yellow stone though. They claim there was a bear attack in the area and had all these areas closed off all around the falls. It felt off to me, Like that wasn’t the case. It didn’t help that it wasn’t even in the area of the bear attack or where they had spotted the bear that was closed. Something felt off to me about it, I cannot describe it but it felt staged to me.


We went to the Lake in the park and was there for a long time. There is a land bridge that reach’s out into the lake. We walked down this where the sand was of obsideon and quartz. I may or may not have collected some of this sand.   The energy was cool at this lake though, It had the feeling of being a very old lake. Like there were things in there that no body knows exist yet. The cliff was crumbling on the side we parked. Guess what  I had the most fun exploring. This lake all I can say is it was peaceful, it felt old, and it had secrets it did not want to share. Many of them.

There are more things to share about this trip to Yellow Stone, However this is long enough….So ….To be continued.

The Wonderer's Life Paradox question

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Things are interesting you know? Life is a paradox, and the humor behind such is something of the gods. When you feel like things are perfect, we change them to something not so perfect. When we are happy, we find away to destroy it for ourselves. These my dear friends are obvious statements of truth and firmly amusing. The thing I ask why of is why the hell do we want this misery? Not even so much misery as simply an experience we have been taught that they are such? Maybe We have been taught to do things this way...You have to suffer to enjoy... Why?

Sweet potatoes out of the shoe box!

Part one catch up in Maryland

Cool Universe picture/ With Planet view

I came across this And Absolutely loved it, Thought I would Share 

It's time to live

Hello my lovely dears. For this blogg  I don’t have inquisitive thoughts, or perilous adventure to share. I don’t have stories of bears and mountain lions. Or thoughts to get you to make an adventure like this. I see from talking to people, most have always wanted to do something like this, but afraid of it. All I have to say to that is stop being scared. If there’s something you truly want all the universe with conspire to help you achieve your dream! You will have test and trials along the way. But think how beautiful those are.  It adds that’s excitement and makes the adventure that much more memorable. It makes you love those moments when it seems so perfect more delicious. It makes you realize that even those moments are perfect. It gives you an AMAZING opportunity to grow and see how strong and enduring you are. To become a better person.

Anyways, I have been in Salt lake city. After being stuck in Grand Junction, CO… Where my train was 10 hours late. And 11.5 hours lake to salt lake lol.  I have received substantial compensation from said train experience and I have no complaints for such. Things happen and they are good people to make it up to their passengers who call in with complaint.  I have been grouchy most of today, we all have those days. And they are awesome. It is interesting how one can go from grumpy to happy in a just a few short minutes. However, I am setting in a coffee shop listening to music and just can’t stop smiling at this point. I am happy. I have been thinking a lot about this trip am taking. Theres so many things that I have learned along the way, and experienced.  Saw so many things and let go of so much more.

I have saw many, many ways live and got to share my way of life with so many. One of my greatest lessons. Something I have known, but will continue to learned and experience is if I want something bad enough, it will be there. I have admittedly will say if you trly wanted something bad enough, you will do work for it. However it wont seem like work. You will enjoy working towards what you want. Because that’s the beauty of it. How can you appreciate something just handed to you?  In my experience, you wont. Also if you don’t truly want it, you wont appreciate it either, weather you worked towards it or not.

Don’t take my word for any of this however, go experience it for yourself. Stop living vicariously through other. Live you own life exactly how you want to live it. Live it to the max, and live it in your truth.  It doesn’t matter what you’re wanting out of life. Just go for it. If you find that what you’re going for isn’t what you want. Then Change it! If you do something that is representing who you truly are, then find what does  and right your ways of doing them. Don’t judge what you were doing, it isn’t a mistake its an experience. You tried it and learned it wasn’t for you. Doesn’t mean its wrong though. Because it was perfect for you. To learn that it wasn’t for you. To experience life in a different way than what fit you.

I guess it became inquisitive. But here we are Enjoy My friend, My Lights, My Dear ones. My loves.
You’re all amazing and beautiful. I would not ask for you to be any different. As far as I am concerned you’re all perfect. I love you All!

Namaste
Zachy aka The Wonderer

"Life is amazing and insane at the same time. Thing come and things go. People share their stories, and Move along. Seasons change, So do we. Why do we get upset over such small things. When All things in life are a great experience to learn from. Life is a liquid force and I would never change mine!" Zachy Adams, The Wonderer

Just a catch up.... and strange events!

Have things turned around, I needed that rest in Fort Collins. I needed to meditate a lot, realign myself and get balanced. Things have turned around completely. I am no longer broke, I have a better set plan and I know that no matter what, things will always work out. After getting myself in a better position (mentally anyways) I came back to Denver to give it another shot. I lost my camera in the process, but we will get to that.  Made enough money to get me through quite a while, have atleast the next week laid out for me. I love my life. I love the fact I know I am never alone. I worried and lost it all. I stopped worrying, and here we are, I have everything I need  then some. What an Amazing life. I now am in Boulder, Co. haven’t figured out the mixture of reviews. I’m not exactly impressed yet, or disappointed. Haha… according to reviews there is no in between! Yet, that’s all I am seeing lol… who knows maybe I got here to soon. We will see. Which Denver was cool, but not overly until I wandered Beyond the parts people told me were cool… Off the beaten Path my friends. Off the beaten Path. Without stress, and without worrying about what could be. Enjoying each moment as It comes. Meeting cool new people each moment, and Moving forward.

Awesome experience I would like to share though. One of the last days in Fort Collins  I walked into a local shop. In this local shop I saw a statue I about hit the floor when I came across. About 6 months ago in meditation I see a figure of two people conjoining in a certain way. They are blue. I enjoy these figures enough that I actually sketch them the best I can from memory. I walk into this shop, and there this statue sets of this figure I saw in meditation. I luckily have my sketch book with me to show that I’ve saw this with out ever seeing in person. Since them I have came across it multiple times all over the place. Not just in Fort collins… Explain that one….

  love and Light 

The wonderer

Zachy

In Spicy Pickle Out of Flow Haha

I was wondering, has any of you reading this ever experienced one of those moments where it seems like it is all an epic mess, and you’re stressed beyond reason? Welcome to being out of the flow! I recently, and I am sure I will experience it again in my life time being OUT OF FLOW!

I had made it to Denver, Co. Had lunch with my friend who dropped me off, and relaxed in a Panera. Chatting and trying to rebuild contacts in the area. I got a place to stay since camping is not an option in the area. The place to stay was a test for myself. Gordon was an awesome person we talked for hours. Extremely sweet guy, caring. But his ways are different then mine. He didn’t understand my ways, and to him that made them wrong. Or at least felt that way. We talked  a long time, He asked me tons of questions and never quite got anything I was saying. He reminded my of my ex roommate.  In the way that there was only one way to do things, and that wasn’t mine. I will admit I became week and started doubting myself. ( This is where it all starts lol)

 With this night, this test I became out of balance and began to question all my experiences that I know are real and that had led me to the moment of being right there. I pulled myself out of flow and like we learned in the last blogg… FLOW IS AMAZINGNESS! I allowed my light to dim for a short time, and all seemingly fell apart. My friend found me at the bus station about in tears, It had been a day. Went smoothly and was nice. Nap in a park a little coffee, and 3 dollars for gravy and Biscuits.  But the more the day went the more I worried. The more I worried the less things worked out. By the time my friend got me, Money was gone. The place to stay fell through. Worked I had lined up fell through, and the last bus to get me to where my friend lives pulled away as I Stood there. At this Point my plans A, Plan B, Plan C had fell through. I am usually quick on my feet to come up with plan D. This day the only plan D I had was to Cry. What a day!

So After I got to my friends house I talked to my roommate and my mom. Both Helped me get calm. I was finally able to set back and just look at the situation and see nothing went wrong. I was fine, I had a place to stay, and was never just stuck. Also got to do laundry! Thank God! So all in all though I was not having a great day, it wasn’t bad either. All worked out amazingly, and I can truly appreciate the good times I have had so much more.  All trips will have their tests, and the low points.  But with out these we cannot learn and grow. With out the low points we can’t love the good times more. With out this we can’t become better than we were before. We can all read others stories, and we can take everyone elses advice on how to do things and what to pack, how to plan. We overpack for every little snag and worry about how its going to unfold. Because we all know that there will be those moments. But we cannot love the Whole trip if we are worried about the bad, we can’t learn our own abilities on cooping if we take all the best advice. We can’t truly grow into out selves with out  this. So this Epic disaster as I proclaimed to A great man, a great friend, He spoke the truth, I was judging it. I wasn’t ready to see how that could help me.

It got me still, It got me thinking and it got me regrouped refocused and in a state of amazing appreciation! Though at the time I would have given up that day in Denver! That fucking mess, because of my mistakes, my moving to fast blah blah. I wouldn’t trade it now. Less than a week later. I wouldn’t have passed it up. Granted I am still looking to make some money, but I know FOR SURE it will be here. I have learned to doubt my mind doubts God. Doubt brings stuff down. Worry bring the veil over the beauty.

Most would let this bring a trip to a stop, to just go in defeat.  I am not, I am moving forward. I have things to see. People to meet, things to learn and teach.  This is not over.

Love and Peace
The Wonderer

Talk About being in the Flow! Thank you Universe!

I know Sylvianne, we decided me bloggs should start with “I was wondering”, which I still love. But  I couldn’t find a way to work it into the start of this blogg. Lets see where I can fit it in.

So as most of you know, I am In Colorado Springs, Colorado. I am backpacking out here, heading north. This place, this state. I cant describe. It is amazing! The people are so truly nice, and the place its self is absolutely beautiful. I have met so many people. On the train out here I wasn’t completely sure if I would have a place to stay when I got to Co springs. Mainly because they have a no camping law recently passed due to over camping in public area’s. Which is understandable… I guess.  But in the first day, I landed a place to stay for a couple of days, a free concert, a hiking trip near Idaho springs, the best pizza I’ve ever experienced. That was just day one. Since then Just being me and able to talk to anyone I have had Multiple meals, coffees and everything else bought for me and a local Story telling. Kind of like “The Moth”, where people get on stage and tell a story about their lives unscripted. That way all the emotions and your soul is completely bared for people to experience. How amazing is that! I’ve talked to random people about everything under the sun. From guys on buses about marijuana laws, to older ladies who don’t like that there are cameras on all the street lamps. This conversation takes placed with me putzing down the street, she walks up to me and goes, I SHIT YOU NOT, “ There’s a sign on the post over there that says video monitored by home land security. Doesn’t that make you want to rip your clothes of and do this?” proceeds to make random poses in the sidewalk and says, “Fuck yeah” and walks off! I met a guy in a coffee shop who just moved here and is start his own radio station to combine hip hop, r&b and outdoors. Many other people just random stories about their lives, what they are doing, where they come from and why they are here. Amazing people, just simply amazing.

Spent a little time in Denver on my layover, Beautiful city. 16th street mall is sweet. Spent a long time in the book stores, and taking pictures of statues. Also talked a to guy who was working with the Green peace. As were talking and hes giving me stickers, because I love stickers, his papers and everything blow off! He’s embarrassed, but it was pretty awesome it happened. In the process of collecting them a group of girls came up and helped get them and one of them loved the info and wanted to get involved in some way.  The power of Sprit!

Here we go Sylvianne!  So I was wondering, who reading this has ever just let go and went with the flow. Let God or Spirit or Universe take over and just went with it?  If so far this hasn’t proved that with allowing it to all go and allow you Higher self to guide you and all will work out. I don’t know what does? On the train here, I had NO idea what was going to happen, No place to sleep, nothing planned to do besides walk. And wondering if I would even meet anyone. As soon as  I got here, I had a place to sleep, I had plans, I was meeting people left and right, and even food was taken care of among other things I asked Universe for. I mean I stopped worrying and just went with it. Something told me Sunday was the right day for start backpacking north. It was, I have a place to stay for tonight because of it and My host who I was staying with had a couple of couch surfers coming in. It has all landed perfectly. Also a place to do laundry free.. Score! Oh I forgot in Denver I was walking down the street and someone was handing out All natural laundry detergent. So that was taken care of as well. There’s enough there for  a few loads. And I managed to get food to carry with me when I am backpacking for free today. Amazing. I let go, completely went with the flow and Spirit has NOT let me down .I Love You God

Oh and Beth I am ok

I send Light love and peace to all

The Wonderer

Go Inside or go without!

I wonder, how many of us don’t always stand up for ourselves on something?  As I set here on the balcony at my moms, I find myself in a mixture of emotions. I have recently found myself in a similar situation where I felt like I needed someones approval who would not give me such. My grandparents. They have been completely against my trip from the start. Have thought of any way  possible to try and get me to be afraid of it. Have even went as far as calling me dumb for it. Though I wasn’t allowing their words, or their fears stop me from going on my trip, I was feeling like I needed their approval. I mean they are my grandparents. They hand a large hand in my up bringing and are very close family. They are older than me, Which to most says wiser ( or what people say is the same Smarter) Either way I was allowing myself to feel like I needed their approval. It was Plaguing me quite a bit. Why was I feeling this? Are they right? Is this a half baked idea to go backpacking? Why does it seem to matter so much? Why can’t I just get approval to live my life the way I want to live it? Is that so fucking wrong?

Though looking at it and asking my self these questions and more, I realized, I don’t need their approval. what was bothering me was that I am still insecure about my decisions.  Because I have always had that person to tell me they weren’t good choices, that I was wrong and this is the better way to do this. Like many of us . So because of  me allowing their words to effect me due to my insecurity of my own choices on how to lead my life I was upset. Yes I wasn’t letting them effect me in  the way of stopping me from doing it, but internally I was allowing them not approving my trip to enable this insecurity in my self , and was allowing it to be fed with this feeling of needing approval. But from who do I need it? The only person I need approval from is me. I am the only one who knows how to lead my life. I Knew I needed to say something. Not to make a point to them, But for me. I realized the problem wasn’t them. They weren’t going to change, But I Am changing. So the call takes place, and I start to say these things again, but mean them. (yes I’ve said them before and meant them for that moment, but I wasn’t believing them For a while. Now I am and Have to say it aloud. Though I didn’t get to say it in the words I deemed appropriate before hand I got it out of me. Felt freeing to me. I felt like I  had finally released myself to live my life the way I know hoe to live it. With only one persons approval that will control my destiny. Mine.

Though It has been said and I probably will need to say it again, I know it will still take work on my part to make it completely a reality. What throws me off is every time I say it to them, they seem to understand and they calm down with the bashes the fears, the insults. Though I know their fears are still there,  I now see that they see that I have control of my life. No matter how loose the plans for it seem or crazy it is. I have it set in a way I am totally and completely happy. I am glad that I say what I need to say. With out standing firm in ones truth and not swaying in it you lose part of you. You allow control from others upon your life. So I wonder still. Has any one else found themselves in a situation where they have to stand up in their truth? With that, who has let their truth slip from their fingers, and loose another part of yourself? Did you feel it sink back down into your being, awaiting your acceptance and love? I love you all, And I love your truth. Live in it.

Love and Peace

Zach AKA The Wonderer.