I approve of not needing approval

Hey everyone, How are you? Today I am feeling amazing. Yesterday and the day before didn’t feel so amazing.  Though needed.  As you’ve read typically my days are filled with crazy happenings, a lot of laughing and just all around a good time.  Mostly because I still allow things to me new and exciting in my life. But for the past couple of days, even though not bad, weren’t the most amazing of all my days. We had decided to pack up camp and come back into town a while. The weather was turning cold and we were both beginning to feel disconnected from the world. We came back into Idaho falls from Kelly Canyon. Beautiful camping there and amazing hikes. The sky at night was breath taking and peace a solitude was refreshing.

Though camp was more than one could ask for in camping, after a while you feel like you need to be reacquainted with people.  My ego for a few days had been in complete swing. I had allowed myself unbalance and for my ego to take over my thought process. All of these things consumed my mind. Like, but not limited to: “What the hell am I doing? I have made myself on the verge of homeless and now someone has joined my escapades.”, “ I am wasting my life”, “You moron, you have things going so well, and every time you give them up to have new experience.”….Honestly the list of things keeps going,. I end starting to blame myself for a bunch of things going on, I beat myself up over screwing my life up and begin blaming myself for screwing other peoples lives up. Which all of these things I see as not true.  I am not responsible for others lives, and my life I have actually set so I can do this and have experiences that I’ve only, until now, dreamed of.  I know these things, but my ego had the best of me and to be honest as I am typing this out, still has a bit of a hold.

The past few weeks I have had a lot of things happen to me, as you can read. Mentally there has been a bunch going on, that I am as well trying to sort through and process. However, I have not been processing as well as I should. I realize this, for my head feels full! It like pressure right before you get a headache, but it’s different enough that I can tell the difference between the two pressures. So now, I am working on processing all the events physical and mental ones. Though I have had some awesome things happen to me in the physical world, admittedly, I have had a bit of turmoil in my mind recently.

Getting back to the Basics! Janet Louise is NOW living her true American dream!

So here is a follow up. My good friend Janet has joined me adventuring a while. She has been in need of good adventure, and in need of getting back to her own basics.


I don't know about you, but when I first heard about Zachy's adventure, I felt a pang of envy course through me. I've often secretly fantasized about leaving behind all of the expectations of the world, longing to float through the ebb and flow of life, guided by my intuition and desires.

Fast forward a couple of months, and here I am, joining up with The Wonderer on our own series of adventures. I am very well aware that mainstream culture perceives these choices as eccentric and bizarre, however, I obviously don't care much how others judge or criticize me. I lived my life attempting to please others for far too many years to ever step back into that nightmare, (though my fear of judgment still rears its ugly head sometimes).

When I let go of the traditional role I am expected to fill as a woman, a mother, an American, and a human being, I embrace that new found opportunity to define my own role. In my new version, it is very easy to walk away from the rat race - from the obligation to buy into the chaos that has become so common in every day life. I've spent years longing for simplicity, without ever having the courage to take purposeful steps towards that end.

And now, as I've packed up 99% of all of my belongings and put them in storage, I put myself in a situation where I had to choose what my most prized possessions are - what is essential for living and survival. I've got the opportunity in my hands right now to re-evaluate my lifestyle, from top to bottom, scale back to the absolute bare minimum, and then move forward with my new convictions.

What a fantastic opportunity! It is so freeing to let go of my attachment to THINGS, to escape from the labels and identifications that come from material possessions.

As a mother, I've been looking at what it is that I ought to be providing for my little family. Traditional paradigms suggest that I need to provide a 3-4 bedroom home for them, with lots of storage space for toys, electronics, clothes, and all manner of material possessions. Because I'm divorced, their lifestyle should be duplicated at both households, and they should never want for anything.....

I've had to dig deep lately to reveal to myself how I really feel about what a mother should provide for her family. And I disagree with the modern, traditional paradigm. I want to provide my children with the example of a mother who chooses to live her authentic life rather than playing the people's game. I want to provide them with an environment of unconditional love and acceptance - the feeling that they belong, that they are 'home'. And I wholeheartedly believe I can provide this for them, without buying into a 3 level townhouse that comes with 2 1/2 bathrooms.

My goal is to simplify and become a practicing minimalist. Fortunately, my children will have the chance to grow up seeing what life looks like on both sides of the coin - from a household where all the typical Americanized amenities are available, and a household where love, simplicity, and presence are the highest of priorities.

Getting back to the basics brings my heart such joy, it's ridiculous! I long for simple days where twilight signals bedtime, and we rise with the sun every morning - where we re-align ourselves with the rhythm of Mother Nature. I yearn to eat what nourishes the body, not what can be re-heated in a microwave. I seek to withdraw from the media, from that influence, and settle into a cycle of harmony with myself and my surroundings.

Stepping away from life-as-we-know-it may be the single most important step I've taken in the past few years. My time spent 'wondering' with Zachy is helping me dig deep to my core beliefs and bring them into manifestation. Simplicity. Alignment. Natural. Authentic. These are the words I choose to define my role, my life.

Janet Louise

Yellow Stone Part 2 UFO

I cannot say I feel like things are always as they seem, Sometimes I feel like we are all being tricked in this plane of existence that things are just how we see them, or is it where the planes of existence converge and were not ready to see those things. Well most people aren’t ready to accept them as they are for real. Maybe it is like were all living out lives and then people throw in a random play or skit that we just don’t realize isn’t really real, but only a mirage to hide the truth from us. To fool us into believing things are just as they are, and that’s all, nothing more, nothing deeper with more meaning and more life than we allow ourselves to see.

This is how I felt many times as we drove through and visited multiple places in this Nation park of Yellow Stone. All of its beauty and peacefulness. The wildlife and the tourist who aren’t the wiser to my feeling of wandering through a beautifully laid out set sectioned off from reality to show a beautiful side of our reality. To show us how peaceful and safe we all are.. Interesting the place chosen of this is a highly volcanic area that is overdue. Maybe that’s why is felt false. A false sense of safety with in one of the most dangerous areas in the world. Maybe my feeling of there was more there than appears before out eyes. Who knows which.

How ever interesting situation that happened as we were leaving. I was in the back in a meditative state, off in my own little world. Having a great time. And BAM breaks, we come to a complete stop in the road. I come to, to hear a conversation of the star in the sunset. A very bright star right in the line a the sunset. Luckily we have binoculars with us. I grab them take a look, and come to the conclusion that it (even though the tail of it is in a v and not a straight line) that it is nothing more than a jet. So my friend Maya grabs the binoculars from me and looks, She watches this jet split into three objects, hands the binoculars back to me for me to look. Sure as shit its three different objects all flying together. HOLY BALLS YO! We all Gander at this object for a while. People stop to ask us what were staring at. We say a strange object in the sky. They, without a thought, just move on. We continue to look to try and figure it out. At this point it have gotten large enough in the sky to attempt a picture. Also notice the flight pattern is no a straight line. Our final conclusion is, well, UFO. Unidentified Flying Object. That’s one creative answer! So here’s the photo, its not very clear because we had to zoom in all the way. Take what you will from it.

Thoughts on Death By the Wonderer

I do have more about yellow stone, however, this will just have to be in the middle.

So I have been putting some thought into a topic people either avoid, ignore or only pay attention to. I have been thinking about death. Not contemplating it for myself or towards others. The idea within itself. This year for many people have involved quite a bit of death. Either people you know or people you know are going through it, though seems that it has been elevated. So here we are in the midst of something going on with losing a lot of people. A lot of tears have been shed, feeling of loss…..Here’s where it could get controversial for some. If so just remember this is my opinion and it is not intended to anger you. 

 Why is it we look at it as such a bad thing? In most religions this is the time where the soul goes to heaven (or so is said when said person is in the box). It is the chance to go to a new experience, or reincarnate. For science ( if we would allow the natural process) the break down of the body that is created of energy (which is neither created or destroyed) is transferred to another object. So technically said person either way isn’t not gone. 

But this isn’t even my point, simply leads to it. We view death as this terrible thing, where we are obligated to be sad and shed tears. Hug family and reconnect with them over shared happy memories with dead guy… at this point if I seem insensitive, then simply stop reading and move forward, Thanks. I am just confused, why is it so bad? I mean If you really look at it, most people live their lives in misery in hopes to reach a heaven where you bow and praise a man for eternity. Point being life here was not happy for many, hell I would venture the say 95% of the world is NOT HAPPY, they are Miserable! So wouldn’t it be a blessing to not have to be here anymore? DO NOT get me wrong, I do not condone pussying out and offing yourself. 

However isn’t it time we stop doing this shit backwards and be happy for them. All we are doing with the funeral crap is feeling bad for ourselves. “I didn’t spend enough time with them”, “How will i move on with out them”; “They wont get to see the grandkids grow up, the kids will never know how great a person they were.” or “Why would you leave us so soon, how selfish can you be.” 

Does no body see what’s wrong there? How about “ You were an amazing person, we love you and happy you get to experience something new!” ,  “ I am glad you get to go to see new things, How awesome for you!” or  “ You’re missed, But it great that you’re moving forward.”

Yellow Stone National Forest

 Isn’t amazing how things go?  So I get to Idaho falls and I get to experience things I had wanted to experience on this trip. Like I got to go to Yellow Stone, which I will admit I was disappointed when I reworked me trip to basically miss it, because the track I was taking made more sense… herm. Anyways, point being I know this pretty kick ass guy who wanted to go and got to! That would be Me. Your amazingness you can call me J… I was so excited and I am pretty sure I showed it, basically like a little kid, haha. But you know what, I am okay with that. Just because I am.

So we get here to this little town called west yellow stone, and I wandering around, all excited and at this point trying to hide it. I knew when we get here there were things I wanted to see. Old faithful was NOT one of them. Sorry Old faithful. There are other gysers who go off more often and to be quite honest as far as I am concerned are better, well to be honest with you Faithy, they don’t have as many people surrounding them waiting for you non faithful behavior to spew all over. I like anticipation building,  but with all the people its like a creepy orgy. Not a big enough climax to please me either. I am sure you please many people you dirty whore, just not me.

Yes we skipped over her ( the over viewed hooker) and saw the good stuff. Many bubbly mud pots, and spewers, really hot water and places where I am not dumb enough. Like the picture with the boy scout burning to death it shows and his I am assuming his sister staring in astonishment, She much have been praying for his survival. I got to see a lot of Bison and I think an elk or just an over sized deer. The falls and many other things. The falls were beautiful. These huge Water falls surrounded my yellow rock cliffs, We went on all sides of those… There was an interesting thing going on at yellow stone though. They claim there was a bear attack in the area and had all these areas closed off all around the falls. It felt off to me, Like that wasn’t the case. It didn’t help that it wasn’t even in the area of the bear attack or where they had spotted the bear that was closed. Something felt off to me about it, I cannot describe it but it felt staged to me.


We went to the Lake in the park and was there for a long time. There is a land bridge that reach’s out into the lake. We walked down this where the sand was of obsideon and quartz. I may or may not have collected some of this sand.   The energy was cool at this lake though, It had the feeling of being a very old lake. Like there were things in there that no body knows exist yet. The cliff was crumbling on the side we parked. Guess what  I had the most fun exploring. This lake all I can say is it was peaceful, it felt old, and it had secrets it did not want to share. Many of them.

There are more things to share about this trip to Yellow Stone, However this is long enough….So ….To be continued.

The Wonderer's Life Paradox question

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Things are interesting you know? Life is a paradox, and the humor behind such is something of the gods. When you feel like things are perfect, we change them to something not so perfect. When we are happy, we find away to destroy it for ourselves. These my dear friends are obvious statements of truth and firmly amusing. The thing I ask why of is why the hell do we want this misery? Not even so much misery as simply an experience we have been taught that they are such? Maybe We have been taught to do things this way...You have to suffer to enjoy... Why?