My mind is full, Overly full tonight. There are so many thoughts floating around and much more to sort through. I feel lost in all of it right now. It feels like I am in an unfamiliar jungle of my own mind. A place I have sorted through and sorted through and put into files and cabinets. Labeled perfectly so I could find what I was looking for. This is another layer of my own mind I have picked through and looked at, played with and was amused by. But now I have plunged head first into the muck. Not sure which way to start going, which direction to submerge myself to begin ordering. See what i have thrown into this room and left undiscovered for this long.
I am at this moment in a mess in my mind and not very sure what to look for or where to look. I could start tossing things. However, I know in this process if you just toss with out looking you can easily invite it back in without knowing you are. So I must carefully and patiently look through all the leaves and paper with scribbles read whats on the trunks of the jungle trees and see what I have tacked to the sky. I must look at it all and know weather I need it or not. If I plan to hold on to it, how does it fit? Where must this go? What tree did this leaf of scribbles come off of?
Yes, you're reading this all confused and perfectly right if this is the case. For you're imagining a room that is a jungle with a sky filing cabinets standing open leaves and papers every where, including tacked to the sky. Now add a few more layers of papers and leaves, at least to your neck. Throw in a few animals looking at you neck deep in this mess with a look that says, "Dude, this is a mess... You gonna get to cleaning or are you gonna hang out neck deep in shit?" Haha. This is not a bad place. Actually quite the opposite, this is an amazing place. Overwhelming a bit, but amazing. This means I am another level deeper into myself. Once I am not overwhelmed I will be able to knock through this quickly. I am excited to be here, I am sure I will learn way cool things about me I long since buried down here. A tactic to convince myself it is to difficult to know me. But It wont win! I will get through this :-)
I am at this moment in a mess in my mind and not very sure what to look for or where to look. I could start tossing things. However, I know in this process if you just toss with out looking you can easily invite it back in without knowing you are. So I must carefully and patiently look through all the leaves and paper with scribbles read whats on the trunks of the jungle trees and see what I have tacked to the sky. I must look at it all and know weather I need it or not. If I plan to hold on to it, how does it fit? Where must this go? What tree did this leaf of scribbles come off of?Yes, you're reading this all confused and perfectly right if this is the case. For you're imagining a room that is a jungle with a sky filing cabinets standing open leaves and papers every where, including tacked to the sky. Now add a few more layers of papers and leaves, at least to your neck. Throw in a few animals looking at you neck deep in this mess with a look that says, "Dude, this is a mess... You gonna get to cleaning or are you gonna hang out neck deep in shit?" Haha. This is not a bad place. Actually quite the opposite, this is an amazing place. Overwhelming a bit, but amazing. This means I am another level deeper into myself. Once I am not overwhelmed I will be able to knock through this quickly. I am excited to be here, I am sure I will learn way cool things about me I long since buried down here. A tactic to convince myself it is to difficult to know me. But It wont win! I will get through this :-)
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